Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize