I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
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He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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