just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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