East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish my penis had a tongue
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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