At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
