Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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