"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
