In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
