We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
