Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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