And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
