i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
