Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
