Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
