How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
