How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
