glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i love accidental penises.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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