There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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