hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
