I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
