Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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