dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
