She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
