I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
