He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i would punch a child for taco bell
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
