You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
