we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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