Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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