11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
