Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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