Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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