Midget sex pt 2 tonight
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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