Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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