I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
These tits shall not be calmed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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