so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
