New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
