no, he came in my armpit
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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