Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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