sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
