He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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