No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
