Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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