i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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