he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
This baby is an asshole
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
