Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
