thus making me awesome and them whores
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
