Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's never too late to be topless.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
