I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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