I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize