We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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