That's intense
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
