i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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