I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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