tell your sister to shave her snatch
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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