i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
