No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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