OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
