My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
