I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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