Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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