I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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