just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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