so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize