why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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